"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out."

"there's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

"My girlfriend sleeps in a queen-sized bed and I sleep in a court jester-sized bed."

"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second."

"You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time."

"The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion."

"We cannot be sure that we have something to live for unless we are ready to die for it."

"Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special."

"Be brief, for no discourse can please when too long."

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."

"Thou art the Mars of malcontents."